( Honestly, she's hard to disappoint, she thinks. Hard to to do worse than what's already been done to her. Not that Shin could possibly know that, even if he can read the reactions he's pulled out of her so far. Because knowing what happened means knowing what her world has created.
Knowing why she can see those powers he sparks to life, memories and feelings flickering between the two of them which she only half watches. More than anything, her eyes follow Shin. His reactions. Every twitch of expression, the lighting and dimming of his powers.
And then there's that comment, and Kate deflates. Because, oh man. They've had so much come up about their fucked up sex lives (she won't call it love, because that's never what it was for her) that they haven't even touched that part of the mess. Its own can of worms. But those friends never talked about anything close to this. It was never anything but the drinks, the drugs. The idle chatter and gossip about school things that never really let them know each other.
And then she betrayed all of them, or so their side of the argument went. Why'd you stop hanging out with us? Is the whore too good for us? Slag. Those words still come up, were whispered in the blood rain, pulling her back to fights in the hall and teachers shouting after her as she leaves the building.
She draws in a breath, and lets them fade into the same meaningless din they were back in the rain, before reaching out and...
Lightly slapping Shin's shoulder. )
What were it you said earlier? You chose t' do shit?
( The actual quotes don't work well in this context, but the sentiment does. )
I'm choosin' to do this.
( Maybe it's a particularly intense show of faith, given how short a time they've known each other, but it doesn't feel wrong. She's stupid, but she doesn't think she's being stupid here.
Besides, if she is, what's one more heartbreak? One more thing lost in her life? )
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cw: slutshaming
Date: 2022-07-21 11:51 pm (UTC)Knowing why she can see those powers he sparks to life, memories and feelings flickering between the two of them which she only half watches. More than anything, her eyes follow Shin. His reactions. Every twitch of expression, the lighting and dimming of his powers.
And then there's that comment, and Kate deflates. Because, oh man. They've had so much come up about their fucked up sex lives (she won't call it love, because that's never what it was for her) that they haven't even touched that part of the mess. Its own can of worms. But those friends never talked about anything close to this. It was never anything but the drinks, the drugs. The idle chatter and gossip about school things that never really let them know each other.
And then she betrayed all of them, or so their side of the argument went. Why'd you stop hanging out with us? Is the whore too good for us? Slag. Those words still come up, were whispered in the blood rain, pulling her back to fights in the hall and teachers shouting after her as she leaves the building.
She draws in a breath, and lets them fade into the same meaningless din they were back in the rain, before reaching out and...
Lightly slapping Shin's shoulder. )
What were it you said earlier? You chose t' do shit?
( The actual quotes don't work well in this context, but the sentiment does. )
I'm choosin' to do this.
( Maybe it's a particularly intense show of faith, given how short a time they've known each other, but it doesn't feel wrong. She's stupid, but she doesn't think she's being stupid here.
Besides, if she is, what's one more heartbreak? One more thing lost in her life? )