(that's the thing, though. shin too allows life to wash him by, but he wants it to be on his own terms. he won't fight, not on his own, he doesn't have the inner strength to do that. to really grab and run with something he wants, because there is no such a thing. he couldn't give a shit about being famous, what he liked were the nights in room 707, drinking silly and making great memories. the rush of the stage, having fun with the people he chose by his side. the warm hug of hachi, when she can. even that slipped through his fingers so quickly.
he's not stupid, he knows exactly what she's doing. being an object of projection is not foreign to him, that's much of what he does, as a musician, as a bought lover. he sees right through her that he spoke to her wound directly. it feels more of her problem than his.
once she's back, she'll find the clues to where he went. his cigarette pack is on the table, and if she looks outside, she'll see the light blue strands in the distance, a cloud of smoke on top of him.)
( It's less about any actual going to the toilet and more about the minutes she needs alone to punch a wall, letting the ache of her knuckles bring her back to the present. Time she needs to press cold water to her face and thank science for waterproof makeup.
Fuck's sake. She should be over this bullshit by now. Not doing this. She breathes deep, presses the spot where her hand aches once more, and looks at herself in the mirror, half expecting to see those too-bright blue eyes standing right behind her.
Soon enough, Shin will hear the door to the restaurant opening, hear steps approaching and see Kate making her way towards him, the sleeves of her hoodie pulled over her hands. )
... Sorry.
( She really sucks at saying that, so the fact that she's saying that should be taken for the honour it is, thank you. )
I... ( Shit, how does she even begin to explain this? )
I didn't want to ruin our night.
( ... She doesn't. Because of course she doesn't. )
(lost in thought he is. it's not that he's unaffected by all this, it's just that... being here is a bit of a blessing, actually. he has to face none of it, muster courage to change none of it, his melancholy is his alone, and if he does come back to life, he'll be different. older, perhaps, able to hold his head high, and this time away might explain to him whether he wants reira once he can have her. he might even be able to abide to his promise of surpassing ren, after all that. right now, he just wants to hide here. run.
and the drag he takes from the stick is so strong that he finishes it. nothing goes over his head, kate. he knows she's sobbed in that bathroom, he can see the redness of her knuckles and the tension in her shoulders. she didn't want to hold hands earlier, but shin himself reaches for it, only to wrap one of her arms around his waist, his own bringing her to his chest.)
You didn't. It was me, wasn't it? I was doing all that. I think maybe she did give me something, and I just don't understand what it is yet.
(his kisses don't do anything, but he presses one to her temple.)
I know you're going through things, I can tell in bed and out of it. You're too special to let that define you, alright? I know just from seeing it.
(oh, she should be feeling a warm rush, and he doesn't even know he can provoke it.)
( Oh, alright then. She'll let this happen, even if she's still not in a place where contact brings an immediate comfort. Shin, at least, doesn't seem to want to hurt her, ever.
That's enough for now. Enough assurance to let Kate tuck her head in under his chin, and when the warmth comes, she exhales. The compliment doesn't feel as awkward, and...
Ah. That's right. )
She gave you more than one.
( She can't tell him what they are, because the colours are meaningless right now, and still very faint, but they're there. )
... More than one?! It's just one, no? What... What are they, do you know?
(sadly, he can't hear her thoughts. three powers hanging from him, and he just experienced one at the worst time possible. at least it wasn't one of his worst memories, or else she would have been much more triggered, so much more agitated. still, she's close, and she's tiny, so he's able to press a kiss to the top of her head.
a miracle from him, really, hindering his growth like that.)
( A breath. She's gonna need to be able to look at him properly for this, so she pulls back after the kiss to her head, resting both her hands on his waist as she does. )
Not for sure. Haven't seen owt like it before. ( But... ) Guessin' the first one were some sort of memory sharin' thing.
( And surprisingly powerful, at that. The emotions had been overwhelming. )
... The others... ( Hm. Hm. ) Give me a compliment.
( That last compliment he gave had felt all warm and fuzzy, taken the edge off her mood. She's not 100% certain that it was a power, specifically, though. )
Edited (idk what happened there) Date: 2022-07-20 10:12 pm (UTC)
( ... Why are you like this she is trying to do a scientific experiment here. (Sorta.)
That does feel good, though, sending a shiver down her spine despite the warmth pooling in her belly, and Kate bites back a groan before lightly shoving him, hands against her chest. )
That's not helping.
( How is she supposed to decide why she feels good if she's getting kissed like that? )
(it feels like a victory, he can't help the smugness overtaking his expression. her sounds are just so nice to hear, he feels a little denied of it, but it's okay. if after all this, she still wants to share her bed with him, he'll take it out of her.
fine, fine. hands up, as to prove there are no weapons, even if the damage comes from his tongue.)
( Well, that's a lie. But the compliment hits home anyway. That warmth builds inside her, removing any last traces of lingering sadness for the moment. )
... Your compliments can make people feel good.
( You would think that was an obvious thing, but she doesn't know how else to phrase it. )
(please, he was so excited, and once the aroma hits his nostrils, he takes her wrist to rush them to the table.
it's just a little colder, but it shouldn't be that much of a problem. he eats with a huge grin on his face, like it'll be his last meal until the end of the week.
Which... it is. As you would hope, really, when you're at an actual restaurant. Kate's a slower eater, nibbling and picking at things between drinks of her beer and pieces of idle conversation, but she makes it through a good portion of what she's been given.
Hm. )
You think they pack this stuff up?
( If she takes it home, she doesn't have to cook tomorrow. )
(he's going to pay for what he's eaten, and two of kate's beers, because she earned it. not him getting her to punch walls and cry at mirrors.
once it's paid, he grabs his guitar to hang from his shoulder again, offering her a hand to stand up. he knows kate doesn't need it, but it is nonetheless a thoughtful gesture, he reckons.)
( That's fair. And though she doesn't take his hand when she stands up, once they make their way outside and the idea hits her, Kate's little finger winds around Shin's. )
... I know.
( Follow her. Not that it's very far. They're just going to her apartment building. A quick detour to her flat, because that's not the destination in mind, they're simply going to drop the food off before they head up to the roof.
It's her favourite way to see the city, after all. )
(small victories. his heart is well-guarded, a fence that can't be torn down so easily, so fast, but this is nice. he can appreciate their dynamic, as kate's own walls come crumbling brick by brick. she puts up an act so deep that he is sure she doesn't see how lovely she can be, under her tough exterior... a pity, really.
his own pinky hooks with her own, and he follows without complaint until the breeze of the nightsky floods his lungs at the roof, elbows at the security half-wall so he can take a long look down. maybe she can tell how little he cares about his own mortality, climbing on it to sit, perched, as he takes a cigarette to his lips, fingers caressing the lighter before he burns the tip.
she might notice how his hand remains on the sphere.)
( It can be dangerous to be lovely. To be soft. She has other roles to play before she plays those.
But, she supposes it isn't so bad to not keep all of that front on at 100 all the time. Being on the roof comes with that hit of cold night air, an itching to move and explore, but that's not the point of being up here this time.
So, she hands Shin his guitar, joining him on the edge of the wall with an easy hop and the kind of balance that comes with having practiced that motion plenty already. The sky is clear, starless under the lights coming from the city, but she looks up anyway, because sometimes the endlessness of it all has its own kind of anchoring presence. )
(quite a weird night. powers, affection, volcanic explosions, red knuckles. he might as well end it in a good light. he hasn't really played for anyone so far, aside from jack - and only so he could understand what a bass does, in the first place. his fingers are effortless as they glide and slide around the chords, a happy melody that he just hums the lyrics to himself.
it fills him with wonder, and excitement for the town below, and even deeper he falls in the tune.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 09:09 pm (UTC)he's not stupid, he knows exactly what she's doing. being an object of projection is not foreign to him, that's much of what he does, as a musician, as a bought lover. he sees right through her that he spoke to her wound directly. it feels more of her problem than his.
once she's back, she'll find the clues to where he went. his cigarette pack is on the table, and if she looks outside, she'll see the light blue strands in the distance, a cloud of smoke on top of him.)
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 09:22 pm (UTC)Fuck's sake. She should be over this bullshit by now. Not doing this. She breathes deep, presses the spot where her hand aches once more, and looks at herself in the mirror, half expecting to see those too-bright blue eyes standing right behind her.
Soon enough, Shin will hear the door to the restaurant opening, hear steps approaching and see Kate making her way towards him, the sleeves of her hoodie pulled over her hands. )
... Sorry.
( She really sucks at saying that, so the fact that she's saying that should be taken for the honour it is, thank you. )
I... ( Shit, how does she even begin to explain this? )
I didn't want to ruin our night.
( ... She doesn't. Because of course she doesn't. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 09:32 pm (UTC)and the drag he takes from the stick is so strong that he finishes it. nothing goes over his head, kate. he knows she's sobbed in that bathroom, he can see the redness of her knuckles and the tension in her shoulders. she didn't want to hold hands earlier, but shin himself reaches for it, only to wrap one of her arms around his waist, his own bringing her to his chest.)
You didn't. It was me, wasn't it? I was doing all that. I think maybe she did give me something, and I just don't understand what it is yet.
(his kisses don't do anything, but he presses one to her temple.)
I know you're going through things, I can tell in bed and out of it. You're too special to let that define you, alright? I know just from seeing it.
(oh, she should be feeling a warm rush, and he doesn't even know he can provoke it.)
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 09:38 pm (UTC)( Oh, alright then. She'll let this happen, even if she's still not in a place where contact brings an immediate comfort. Shin, at least, doesn't seem to want to hurt her, ever.
That's enough for now. Enough assurance to let Kate tuck her head in under his chin, and when the warmth comes, she exhales. The compliment doesn't feel as awkward, and...
Ah. That's right. )
She gave you more than one.
( She can't tell him what they are, because the colours are meaningless right now, and still very faint, but they're there. )
... I can see 'em.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:02 pm (UTC)(sadly, he can't hear her thoughts. three powers hanging from him, and he just experienced one at the worst time possible. at least it wasn't one of his worst memories, or else she would have been much more triggered, so much more agitated. still, she's close, and she's tiny, so he's able to press a kiss to the top of her head.
a miracle from him, really, hindering his growth like that.)
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:10 pm (UTC)Not for sure. Haven't seen owt like it before. ( But... ) Guessin' the first one were some sort of memory sharin' thing.
( And surprisingly powerful, at that. The emotions had been overwhelming. )
... The others... ( Hm. Hm. ) Give me a compliment.
( That last compliment he gave had felt all warm and fuzzy, taken the edge off her mood. She's not 100% certain that it was a power, specifically, though. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:18 pm (UTC)(... give her a compliment? that's so easy, though.
and he's going to get punched from the way he does it, with lips attaching to her jaw, words low against her ear.
yeah, he's cheating, so he'll tamper with results and then, he'll have to compliment her again. OH, HOW TRAGIC OF A CHEAT.)
You're really hot.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:32 pm (UTC)That does feel good, though, sending a shiver down her spine despite the warmth pooling in her belly, and Kate bites back a groan before lightly shoving him, hands against her chest. )
That's not helping.
( How is she supposed to decide why she feels good if she's getting kissed like that? )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:39 pm (UTC)fine, fine. hands up, as to prove there are no weapons, even if the damage comes from his tongue.)
You're a very nice person.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:46 pm (UTC)... Your compliments can make people feel good.
( You would think that was an obvious thing, but she doesn't know how else to phrase it. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:48 pm (UTC)(SORRY, HIS MIND STILL WORKS LIKE THAT. SHOULD HE START CHARGING FOR BEING NICE?
but wait. she said to be careful...)
Can I try the other way around?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:50 pm (UTC)And... )
Wait... Like insults?
( Uh. )
Sure.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:53 pm (UTC)(HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING.)
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:57 pm (UTC)...Ah! ( Jeez, rude much? She needs those. But it's little more than a twinge, thankfully. )
... Guess tha' works too.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 10:59 pm (UTC)...
...
time to go back to the restaurant, on a very nice note:)
We're all doomed.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 11:06 pm (UTC)This food better be good, then.
( She doesn't want to walk into doom on a bad meal, tyvm. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 11:14 pm (UTC)(please, he was so excited, and once the aroma hits his nostrils, he takes her wrist to rush them to the table.
it's just a little colder, but it shouldn't be that much of a problem. he eats with a huge grin on his face, like it'll be his last meal until the end of the week.
hahaha.)
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 11:19 pm (UTC)Which... it is. As you would hope, really, when you're at an actual restaurant. Kate's a slower eater, nibbling and picking at things between drinks of her beer and pieces of idle conversation, but she makes it through a good portion of what she's been given.
Hm. )
You think they pack this stuff up?
( If she takes it home, she doesn't have to cook tomorrow. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 11:27 pm (UTC)(he totally went ham on the menu, anyway. he could, technically, endure it, and he wouldn't be sick of it, but man. nope.)
Wanna get going?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 11:49 pm (UTC)( She's full for now, so the last of the drink is drank, the food is sent to be packaged, and the bill is asked for.
Working off all that food sounds like a plan. )
Y'wanna go anywhere?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 12:00 am (UTC)once it's paid, he grabs his guitar to hang from his shoulder again, offering her a hand to stand up. he knows kate doesn't need it, but it is nonetheless a thoughtful gesture, he reckons.)
Up to you to decide where, though.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 12:25 am (UTC)... I know.
( Follow her. Not that it's very far. They're just going to her apartment building. A quick detour to her flat, because that's not the destination in mind, they're simply going to drop the food off before they head up to the roof.
It's her favourite way to see the city, after all. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 12:35 am (UTC)his own pinky hooks with her own, and he follows without complaint until the breeze of the nightsky floods his lungs at the roof, elbows at the security half-wall so he can take a long look down. maybe she can tell how little he cares about his own mortality, climbing on it to sit, perched, as he takes a cigarette to his lips, fingers caressing the lighter before he burns the tip.
she might notice how his hand remains on the sphere.)
It's nice. Can you pass me my guitar?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 12:42 am (UTC)But, she supposes it isn't so bad to not keep all of that front on at 100 all the time. Being on the roof comes with that hit of cold night air, an itching to move and explore, but that's not the point of being up here this time.
So, she hands Shin his guitar, joining him on the edge of the wall with an easy hop and the kind of balance that comes with having practiced that motion plenty already. The sky is clear, starless under the lights coming from the city, but she looks up anyway, because sometimes the endlessness of it all has its own kind of anchoring presence. )
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 01:48 am (UTC)it fills him with wonder, and excitement for the town below, and even deeper he falls in the tune.)
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