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[bratherine]

kate galloway
@didnot

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[mindthebass]

i realized something.

[bratherine]

( Kate sits legs crossed on a chair, picking through a bowl of salad topped with tofu and eggs. It's late in that way that she's done with work and Shin's day is just beginning, and the flat is comfortable with the sounds of him puttering about while she eats.

Silent, and yet amicable. )

Mm? ( Well, no longer silent. She looks up, a forkful of vegetables in her mouth, chews and swallows. ) What?

[mindthebass]

(so much for silence, isn't it? while she eats, he obviously doesn't. never does. instead, he holds a beer in his hand from the small couch, tapping the cigarette on his ashtray to rid it of residue.)

I realized we have never talked about boundaries. I think we should. I don't want to do anything to you that doesn't feel good.

[bratherine]

( His eating habits are something which are going to have to come up one day, beyond the occasional offhand comments Kate makes whem she makes herself food - you sure? It's just salad - but for the moment, Shin is safe. )

...Ah.

( She pushes the bowl away, fingers twitching, body shrinking in on itself. The ghosts of past encounters crawl along her skin, awakened by those few simple sentences.

Kate knows exactly what her answers are, how they've been imprinted on her and left her ruined, and so her response is easy; )

You go first.

( Push it right back at Shin, give herself a buffer between the quesfion and answer to stamp out the memories and hopefully never actually have that discussion. )

[mindthebass]

(sucking on the cigarette doesn't really give him enough time to think, but he does a quick review of all his relations, before the smoke comes out in a sigh.)

... I guess - just don't be sadistic. I can handle it, but it's not my favorite thing in the world.

(thanks, keiko.)

I can't think of anything else, though.

cw allusions to abuse

[bratherine]

( given the way Kate's nose wrinkles, that likely won't be a problem. Hurting people just so you can get off...

Maybe it was never intentional, never really hurting her, but the sore spots remain. )

Why's that?

( Another brick she can put between herself and the answer to that question. Unfair? Maybe. Cowardly? Definitely.

But she doesn't want to talk about it. )

cw sex work

[mindthebass]

(you will talk, kate. just not now.)

It's not fun if you're not into it, is it? I used to sleep with this housewife, Keiko. She paid extremely well, but oof. I'm not into being teased for hours to no avail.

[bratherine]

S'pose not.

( She pushes the remaining salad around in its bowl, shrugging a single shoulder. Teasing may sound like fun, within reason, but not if no one gets anything out of it at the end. )

Like it better when you have fun anyway.

[mindthebass]

I always have fun.

(who's evading now?)

[bratherine]

Do you?

( Today in healthy coping habits: prodding Shin to keep talking so she doesnt have to! )

[mindthebass]

... Why would you think otherwise?

[bratherine]

Because you asked that question.

( Because sometimes she worries if she's really good enough ro be worth his time. )

[mindthebass]

The question I asked because you were doubting my words in the first place?

(that does not work with shin, kate.)

[bratherine]

( How dare you not let her get away with her bullshit, Shin )

'Cause you got all cagey?

( Pot. Kettle. )

[mindthebass]

Says the person who's answered none of my questions and flipped the script on me.

( :) )

[bratherine]

( If it's possible for Kate to get even more closed in on herself, she does, glowering at Shin as her fingers dig into the fabric of her hoodie. )

Nothin' interesting to say.

( Today in bald faced lies. )

[mindthebass]

You and I both know that's not real. I'll be honest with you, but you can't go around in circles and not be honest with me back.

(he's not stupid, kate. he fucks you the entire week long - there's enough unspoken boundaries to fill the room.)

[bratherine]

I--

( She's still, unnervingly so, tongue caught between teeth, stopping whatever she wanted to say.

I'm not avoiding anything is a lie, and they both know it. )

... I don't like being pinned.

( She ducks her head, the next words quieter than the first; )

Need to feel like I can get out.

[mindthebass]

(... it worked. she's speaking.)

... Noted. What else...?

(asking why feels too aggressive. he's already invading plenty.)

[bratherine]

( It isn't much of a relief to avoid the backstory, not when she has to think of the other memories which make her skin crawl. )

Anythin' being forced in my mouth.

( Giving oral, on her own terms, isn't as bad as she thought it would be, but surely Shin has noticed by now that she doesn't want him to move during it.

And with that, Kate figures out the thing it all boils down to, and finds the strength to say it. )

I just... wanna be treated like a person. Not a doll.

[mindthebass]

(he was away from her not to engulf her into cherry nicotine while she eats, but this conversation finally makes him come closer, taking her hands into his. each knuckle gets a kiss.)

I'm never going to treat you like that. It's me, after all. You're the first person I've ever slept with that has never bought me, you know.

[bratherine]

( ...Oh. He loosens her hands from her hoodie and he's always so fucking gentle that Kate doesn't think she has to worry about those boundaries being broken.

He even gets a huff of something at the kisses. )

...You're the first person to make me cum.

( a considering pause. )

... Besides me.

[mindthebass]

(sad as it is, it's not uncommon. men suck, and he sighs an apology - not that he can ever make up for that, but alas. she'll get a bite to a finger, teeth barely asserting pressure, just to see if he can get a smile out of her from the quirkiness alone.)

And I intend to keep at it. I'm sorry it's been... Bad, before. When we started, I felt so much hesitance but also so much desire, that it made me want to show you how it can be a good thing. I wanted you to get treated like you deserve. That's why I wanted to ask about what you like, and what your boundaries are, so I don't make you feel anything but as incredible, you know?

[bratherine]

( There's a slim chance, even now, which Kate still keeps in mind - that all this seeming sincerity could be an excellent act. But with every passing declaration and day, that chance grows slimmer.

And yes, that nip of her finger is just weird enough to make her lips quirk upwards, brief as the expression is, before her hand reaches out and brushes Shin's cheek. )

It's stupid to apologise for summat you didn't do.

( When they first met, he was cute. And fun. And she'd expected that to be it.

But he's so much more, and that thought pushes away that last little sliver of doubt that this all some elaborate act. What is there to be gained by such a thing, after all?

Kate leans forward, presses a brief kiss to Shin's forehead, and exhales lightly against his skin. It's a weight from her shoulders to admit those wounds, even in these half-cloaked terms. )

... Do you want to know the story?

( She's not sure she's fully ready to say it, but he at least deserves the offer nonetheless. )

[mindthebass]

(it makes him beam to see that little smile, the feeling of fulfilling a mission making him warm inside. he leans against the hand, lets his forehead touch hers once the kiss is pressed. his hands only leave hers to cup her cheeks, caressing the skin with rough fingers before his lips find hers.)

Only if that's something you'd like to talk about. I wouldn't be happy if you do it for me, rather than for you.